Buffalo Rider

 Buffalo Rider, 70s color Rifftrax. Already there are 2 competing narrators. Pretty unpleasant stuff. Some real buffalo killing. Heavy narration. Idiot trying to put a saddle on a buffalo for 10 minutes. One of the narrators may be missing now. Jesus, there’s a lite rock song called Buffalo Jones. It’s very bad. People just keep shooting the buffalo rider. Movie now about Bandit, a raccoon fighting a jaguar or something. Now it’s a very fucked up nature show.  Graphic bloody bear fight. None of this is fake. I guess the people-murdering is fake. There’s some dark shit in this. Cougar just attacked Jake. He fed a baby a porcupine. Every person and animal involved in filming this, was harmed. I think this might become a revenge movie now, with 13mins left. I kinda hope so. Yeah, everybody gets killed. Less satisfying than I expected. Gotta give this top tier. Too many lol moments to deny it.   

Rewatch — There are at least two narrators.  Lots of buffalo murdering and buffalo murderers and skinning.  But is buffalo Jones the buffalo rider?  Why oh why does this idiot want to saddle up and ride this poor buffalo?! Bad idea!!  17mins in and it’s basically a documentary—no dialogue spoken by anyone onscreen, only narrator(s)—about an idiot who wasted a lot of time trying to ride a buffalo instead of a horse, in 1870s Utah.  Oh wow, there’s a theme song, Buffalo Jones. It’s very 70s easy listening.  Bear now. Indian shot Jake but nothing seems to have hurt him.  ADR dialogue from gang of bad guys.  They also want to shoot buffalo Jones but he surprises them and never says anything.  They shoot him. Samson the buffalo brings Jake to some mountain man and wife’s cabin to be nursed back to health.  Now it’s winter and there’s a raccoon named Bandit.  He’s gotta fight a cougar. Jeez! This is unpleasant as fuck!  That cougar tried to drown Bandit.  Ok, that raccoon is dead, whisked away in an icy river.  The raccoon after is not the same one. Why does Bandit even get this whole subplot?  Now this raccoon the movie is calling Bandit had baby raccoons.  Is there a plot? Back to the bad guys.  They just murdered some people to steal their horses.  They’re some real assholes.  I think the dead people were related to the cabin couple. They left a baby alive.  Jake Jones and Samson are there to strap the baby to the side of a Buffalo…   Bad guys are knife fighting.  I miss Bandit. I just don’t know why this guy  ever wanted to ride a damned buffalo.  Hey a big kitty cat jumped on Jake . And now Jake is feeding a porcupine to an infant. Surrounded by pretty dogs now.  And we’re crossing a raging river now.  Baby safe with mountain couple, now it’s 13mins of revenge killing I assume. But first wolves.  Ok, Buffalo Jones killed those three bad guys.  What a stupid mess of a movie.  But so weird it’s definitely a top Rifftrax.