The Apple

What fresh Hell is this?

 

The Apple. Color Rifftrax 1980, when it still felt like 1978.

 Horrific musical. Makes Xanadu seem like masterpiece theater.  It is futuristic 1994! And I guess some kinda music competition rules the world or some shit. The crowd is not digging the Carpenters. Guy named Mr Boogaloo runs everything. I guess. What a horrible shitty movie. This is gonna be tough to get through. Lots of music . This whole stupid movie is unsubtle biblical allegory . This is so terrible.  Close to totally unwatchable.  If you took the Rocky Horror picture show and removed all the good songs and actors but pumped the budget up, and then put in some Saturday Night Fever and Xanadu, and the Bible.  Plus Pink Floyd The Wall....  it’s just very very bad. The riffing isn’t doing too much. This movie seems too terrible to get anything funny going for long because too many songs. Like Hillbillies in a Haunted House, it is tough to riff over wall to wall songs. Was there a period in the late 70s when no one wasn’t gay?   There’s a drumbeat before the horrific song I’m Coming For You that reminds me of something from Princes Batman soundtrack.  Maybe just before Partyman? Or Trust? I know this movie came out in 1980, but it makes me hate the 70s. It is set in 1994. Now there’s hippies. Good god! Every action provokes a song! None are good. I’ve never seen Starlight Express, but I bet this is worse.   We’re in that I’d Like To Buy The World a Coke commercial now, so it’s like Godspell or some shit now? Wtf? Fucking car in the sky? So God, as Mr Tops is confronting Boogaloo? Wait, what? All the hippies are ascending to heaven with the car.  That’s over. Holy shit. Rifftrax did ok, but this should never be viewed again.  Not sure how to rank something that I never ever want to see again. I guess 3rd tier? It’s own category maybe?

BONUS

HDTGM129–Here’s why it’s worth it to suffer thru the Apple Rifftrax. This episode of How Did This Get Made? Is live and has Andy Ricthter. It’s better to see the movie before the podcast, and that would be fully impossible without the Rifftrax. Still, I’d listen to this again, but never watch the movie again.