Stitches

Stitches. Rifftrax color, 2001 and set in ....the 1700s ? 1995? 1889? 

14mins into movie and the time period is a total mystery. Do they have cars? Electricity? Telephones? No idea. But it’s been funny. The devil does a Mrs Doubtfire thing and stays at a bed and breakfast. This one is funny. Devil woman says “.....you think I’m just making clever conversation..” —-Bill loudly interrupts “NO I DON’T!” Lol.  This is a weird one. 20mins in and a train is mentioned. Does that help me figure out the time period? No. This movie is dumb. Guy just got shot. Why is everyone just listening to this stupid old lady? I know she’s Satan but they don’t.  Well, there was a pretty hot scene in this. Oddly enough, it was when the old lady is wearing the skin of the wife of a guy that was shot by a blonde girl. The blonde girl is naked covered in the blood of the shot guy. No nudity, but surprisingly sexy.  The devil uses a wadded up dirty paper towel to spy on people. It has a face and rolls around the house. One guest at the b-n-b reminds me of Prof from Giligans Island, but older with a tiny mustache. He just ripped the balled up piece of paper in half.  Oh jeez, the devil lady has paper dolls too. I think they were the other people in the house.... only the Professor and Mary Ann are left. (Mary Ann is the illiterate maid, whose name is probably not Mary Ann.) Mike: “Our Scary movie now resorting to shadows of paper dolls as an effect,”  WOW, they’re really being attacked by paper dolls! Wow. The Professor is praying now.  Old devil lady has them both tied up as paper dolls ....to, annoy them?   Twist ending! Mary Ann was already in league with Satan. So fuck you Professor!  Now he’s the new wadded up piece of paper with a face!  Ending tapers off a bit instead of a Big Bang. But this was a top Rifftrax.