The Power

 The Power 1984 color, Rifftrax. So we’re in a lecture, college? High school? There’s a very dweeby dude and teacher that looks a little like an angry Hal Lindon . Lecture is about a cursed doll. Weird teacher has power...and the doll, gives a kid a nosebleed and gives a fat guy a minor neck injury. Then he dies with a pole thru his torso. He did have cursed doll? Fat guy has been driven to the desert. He’s following a child now. I’ll be here forever if I keep writing everything, but I thought teacher dude died with stupid cursed wooden doll in his hands. But now fat guy went to desert, followed a kid into a tent where a guy in a vest has the doll. And when I say “doll” I mean little carved wooden dude exactly like that Brady Bunch episode you’re thinking of. It’s been on 11 minutes. Does this tent have a guest room? Fat guy takes doll, shoots guy in vest then his hand starts bleeding and I guess he melted or something . Cut to school. Wtf? Now some dumb kid has this doll? How? When? Is this the kid the dead fat guy followed into tent? If so, that only creates more questions. I’m confused. 17mins in. This is gonna be a long one. Now a high school girl and the dude with the doll and another annoying high school guy are in a cemetery at night with a ouja board. Wow, a Ruth Buzzy reference. So kid with the doll just claimed his parents brought it back from a trip and it’s supposed to be lucky. Never mind, they left, a guy came in and got his head smashed by a block of granite on a rope. And now we’re in a newsroom. What’s interesting about this movie so far is that there don’t appear to be any recurring characters, just a parade of kinda nondescript folks who die. The last guy didn’t even own or see the doll, he just got smashed to death anyway. So this woman in the newsroom, her hair... I mean, I witnessed the 80s firsthand and that hair is unacceptable in ANY decade. It’s like if Micheal Bolton plopped a bad, short cropped toupee on top his long, bleach-dried mullet hair. It’s remarkably bad. The 80s really didn’t get good until 1984 and this is technically from 83. It’s a transitional year and this woman’s hair is clearly transitioning from something into something else. We have settled in on following up with the three ouji board high school kids. That wooden doll is magnetic. The kid seems to have attached a penis-paper clip to the doll while studying. Also this kid has an intercom in his bedroom. Oh man this movie is bad. I’m an hour in, 22 minutes to go. Pretty bored with it. Jerry has the doll, Jerry has the power, I guess. Jerry sucks though. Guess he’s psycho. It’s fallen into very typical 80s slasher movie. By the numbers. Boring movie. Riffs are there, bouncing along with the movie. 3 years later!?!? I’m so tired of this movie. Good god the fat guy from the beginning is back. Also good, he’s been killed again. The end. Yeah. Meh. Maybe high in the 3rd tier? It didn't actively make me hate it, but I don't think I'd watch it again.