Rock and Roll Nightmare



Rock and Roll Nightmare (1987, color, Rifftrax) This features the same metalhead, meathead from Zombie Nightmare and came out the same year, but this has none of the mega star power of Adam West and that hot Asian lady, Tia something? Plot of this: horrible 80s metal band rents a farmhouse in middle of nowhere with no telephones, etc.  They’re supposed to write ten minutes of music in a month, but they seem to just be getting into their stage clothes and playing concerts to an empty barn. I’ll say this about the music—it is virtually indistinguishable from all the other groups doing this kind of music in 1987.  I’m not a fan. Anyway, I think muppets are killing the metal dudes at the farm now. Lots of sex. I like the brunette. I’m kinda bored with movie otherwise. The lead singer looks a bit like Loni Anderson, but definitely not in a good way. This sex scene is going on and on and it isn’t good. Jesus Christ. This shower sex scene is even worse. Why aren’t these people murder victims yet?!  Ok, a weird demon child murdered a few people. Ok, an hour and 12 mins in. The main metal dude has more makeup and hairspray on than Tammy Fay Baker and is wearing only metal underwear that is too small. Also he’s talking with the Devil, who is in this movie now. I think the metal moron just told Satan the band was all in his head or something? Huh? Bunch of weird one eyed penis puppets. This movie is so stupid. Lead singer idiot is an archangel. But the devil is throwing rubber starfish at metal idiot guy's chest. This ending is interminable. Bad music, a dude mostly naked dancing around with a devil puppet. It goes on and on. He has a cape? When did he get a cape? Did he have a cape this whole time? This is like 80s pro-wrestling, which I like slightly less than 80s metal music. Ok that’s over. It was terrible. The riff was ok, but with a movie that is painful to see and hear, the riff has to overcome a lot. Very low in the second tier. Bottom of 2nd tier.


The least rock & roll thing ever.


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